Born On Christmas Eve... Bob Smith

"The world is a king, and, like a king, desires flattery for a favor; but true art is selfish & perverse, it will not submit to the mold of flattery.”
Beethoven

I celebrate what I claim has to be the very worst day for a birthday, January 3rd. The tree is dead in the corner, the credit cards are maxed out, everyone has made a resolution to diet, stop drinking & go the gym, not a single person is interested in partying. Other Capricorns complain about holiday birthdays, but I think it would be swell to have been born on Christmas Eve. The house is beautiful, everyone is dressed up, spirits are high, children are delighted, & if you have been a good boy, & there may be something special for your birthday & for Christmas, just for you, under the tree.

Lucky Bob Smith, with a birthday on December 24th, plus he is pretty. Witty & gay!


Smith is the first openly gay comedian on The Tonight Show. I own & very much enjoyed his Memoirs; Openly Bob & Way To Go, Smith. But nothing had prepared me for how much I would love his first novel Selfish & Perverse, one of my favorite books of 2010.

In Selfish & Perverse (the title comes from a quote from Beethoven about artists), a down & out L.A. TV comedy writer Nelson Kunkel, seems to get himself into more than his share of awkward situations before finally resolving to visit Alaska for the summer, hoping for a romance story with handsome, butch fisherman/anthropologist Roy. Their mutual interest in anthropology lead to a tour of the La Brea tar pits, & to Nelson becoming a national TV news laughing stock, which makes escaping to Alaska more palatable, particularly after he not only gets caught necking in an elevator with Roy, but also getting stoned in star Dylan's trailer before the show's taping, & subsequently fired, then the flirtatious star hints about visiting Roy in Anchorage.


Dylan, fresh out of prison after being arrested for drug offenses while caught naked on TV tripped out of his head, decides to make his post-rehab debut as the guest star on the late night comedy show, where Nelson struggles as the "script-coordinator" feeding funny lines to ego crazed actors. Then Dylan, the ferocious flirt, insinuates himself into both Nelson & Roy’s lives. Intrigue, a lot of sex, & bon mots follows in a hilarious blend, & in the process encapsulating the absurdities of modern gay life. Will Nelson be able to choose between L.A. & Alaska & between Roy & Dylan?

 A new novel- Remembrance of Things I Forgot will be released sometime in early 2011 & I can’t wait.