A Very Lovely Special Christmas Day At Post Apocalyptic Bohemia

The Husband & I survived Christmas Day the only way we could & not fall to pieces. The Husband put the presents for Michael out of sight. I settled in to a day of heavy TV viewing that would be distracting & possibly make us laugh a bit. I made room on the DVR storage by watching a marathon of the Sundance Channel's Girls Who Like Boys Who Like Boys, Beverly Hills Houswives, Chelsea Lately, & Top Chef Masters. I self-medicated. I called the parents & thanked them for all the warm & warm hearted holidays & the thoughtful, tender, tasteful gifts of books, albums, bicycles (5,8,11), trip to Europe (15), 1955 Jeep Willis Stationwagon (16), 1959 T-Bird, black on black (18), & the Etch-A-Sketch (54).

The Husband & I did our best to not slip deeper into deeper melancholia. I got a bit messed up. The Husband napped. Warm & wedded to each other; our 31st Christmas & worse for the wear.

Whenever life hands you a lemon, make it into lemon flavored vodka, I always say, huh?
You know, there’s a certain point in life where you either move forward & try to participate in a way that is interesting & hopefully useful, or else disappear. I chose the former, & that is just how I am. There are huge chasms along the way. I suffer from serious suffocating depression, but that doesn't accomplish anything. I try to change anything & have a bit of fun. How I react to setbacks is the fundamental choice I have to make each day. I wake up in the morning and say, “Oh well, a new day, let’s get it going, what’s ahead?” & just go do it one more time.

Words To Live By

"Sample everything that life has to offer,

 except incest & folk dancing"

George S. Kauffman

Words To Live By

"I'm tired of being dirty, easy & bad."

Ida Lupino in Roadhouse

Words To Live By

Buster Crabbe, Johnny Weissmuller, Herman Brix & Glenn Morris

"The secret of life is to have a task, something you devote your entire life to, something you bring everything to, every minute of the day for the rest of your life. & the most important thing is, it must be something you cannot possibly do.”

Henry Moore

Words To Live By

“A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to take it off of you.”

Coco Chanel

Words To Live By

“Well, I could make an effort to be liked, but I’d rather be hated than inconvenienced.”

                                        Wilhelmina Slater

Words To Live By

"If you always do what interests you, at least one person is pleased"
Katharine Hepburn

Words To Live By

"You can give without loving, but you can never love without giving. The great acts of love are done by those who are habitually performing small acts of kindness. We pardon to the extent that we love. Love is knowing that even when you are alone, you will never be lonely again. & great happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved. Loved for ourselves. & even loved in spite of ourselves."
Victor Hugo, Les Miserables (1862)

Words To Live By

"Let me listen to me & not to them."
Gertrude Stein

Words To Live By

"It will be long, hard & there will be no withdrawal."
Winston Churchill

The Writing Is On The Wall

Mr. Steve Goes To Town

I had an unusual & interesting day yesterday. I am a mostly a stay-at-home guy, especially when I have a day off on my own. I will go to one of two beaches that are close by, but someone flipped the switch & the temperature in Portland went from 90s to 60s in 30 hours. I will go to the gym, the store, maybe a nursery for my plant jones, but mostly I garden, read, blog, listen to music, get stoned & enjoy my alone time.

When I am really worried about money, money problems, cash flow etc., I seem to react by finding a very deep need to go shopping. So, I got dressed up (you never know who you might meet) & I took the MAX train downtown. The commute is 18 minutes & I love riding the train. I sometimes pretend that I live in Westport & commute into Manhattan. After the 3rd stop, a woman got on & sat behind my & almost immediately commenced to conversing on her cell phone in a tone that was a tad bit short of screaming... & she was talking about NOTHING: "...oh, nothing. Just riding the train. Yeah? Bored. No, he never calls. He is such a tool. A total tool. Oh, nothing... maybe. Sorta. Maybe." I hate inappropriate cell phone use & I usually just start listening to my Ipod. I don't know how it happened, but I opened up my cell phone & said in a voice just a tad bit short of screaming: "Oh, Nothing. Just listening to this rude person behind me, she is screaming into her cell about absolutely nothing...well not nothing... I know that her boyfriend is a total tool & although she is white & straight, she is using terms like- "Biatch" & "oh no she dinuht", "oh no, do not go there" & she is finger snapping". I am thinking that I am making my point & teaching her a lesson on etiquette on public transit. Then at the Rose Quarter stop, the BIATCH got up from her seat & pushed the button to page the operator, who then appeared & the BIATCH claims that I am harassing her & "making fun of her". The driver asked for my side of the story & I said- "she was screaming on her cell phone... about NOTHING! Screaming!" The driver asked me to stop & not bother her. He went back to his little compartment. The train started. The BIATCH went back to her phone. I put on my Ipod.

Finally Downtown, I did window shop, I got 3 watches (that I love & have not worked in a year) repaired, I bought the Husband a new vest at 60% off (I loath full retail) & I walked from my job (I had to pick up some papers for "homework") to Powell's City Of Books. I purchased two books I have been itching to own- At Least In The City Someone Would Hear Me Scream by Wade Rouse & My Diva: 65 Gay Men on the Women Who Inspire Them edited by Michael Montlack. I did have a nice moment. A handsome man walked right up to me in the Gay section of Powell's, looked me in the eye, & he said- "They have an amazing gay section here! I can't believe it. My name is Roger. I'm gay. Are you gay?", I nodded yes & said- "Hello Roger, They call me Stephen". "I love Portland so much. I am only here for a few hours", said Roger. He then said- "suggestions for something to do this afternoon?". My retort: "Roger, It is real pleasure to meet you. It is always lovely to chat with a handsome stranger in the Gay section of Powell's, but I have all these things to carry, I need to walk 15 blocks to meet my husband at the penthouse that his company is designing & I am just exhausted from trying to teach some BIATCH some common courtesy." Roger walked away with real purpose.
My lesson for the day?
You can get dressed up & go to town, but you can't teach the world to have good manners.

Words To Live By

"It's always something...if it's not one thing, it's another."

Roseanne Roseannadanna

Words To Live By

"Be who you are & say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter & those who matter don't mind."
Dr. Seuss

Quote Of The Day

"You know what they say: You can't teach a gay dog straight tricks."

Chef, "Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride," South Park written by Trey Parker & Matt Stone

the picture is of our gay dog- Junior

Words To Live By

"Don't let your mouth write a check that your ass can't cash."
RuPaul

Quote of the Day

Words to live by:

“...it doesn't matter how you feel inside, you know? It's what shows up on the surface that counts. That's what my mother taught me. Take all your bad feelings and push them down, all the way down, past your knees until you're almost walking on them. And then you'll fit in, and you'll be invited to parties, and boys will like you, and happiness will follow.”

Marge Simpson

in answer to my question- does that really cute barista boy still work there...?

The husband replied-

"Steve... boys come & boys go & barista boys come & go faster."