WTF... The Max Train Chronicles, #2 In A Series

I couldn’t quite see them when they got on, but I could smell them & I could hear them. Everyone on the train could hear them. One of them had to have been a graduate of the culinary program at Charles Manson Junior College, & the other appeared to have the charming moniker –Dirt Devil.

The charming couple boarded the train & sat directly behind me. I am not a prude, not in any way. “Cocksuckingmotherfucker” flows easily from my tongue, but I don’t think the use of bad language on public transportation is appropriate. Every 5th word out of these 2 was- “fuckin”. I wince at all the swear words around the older people & the little kids, & it just is bad MAX train etiquette.


Charles Manson: “Fuck, man… where is it that I fuckin’ know you from, man?
Dirt Devil: “Fuck, dude! It was when we was both hitchhiking out on fuckin’ 26, trying to get to the fuckin’ ocean. Fuck!”
Charles Manson: “Yeah! Fuck! Yeah! I remember, now. Shit. Fuck. I was so high on that fuckin’ weed you had. Fuck.”
Dirt Devil: “Yeah. Fuck. When I got to the ocean, I got fuckin’ arrested within minutes.”
Charles Manson: “Fuck! Every time I cross a fuckin’ state line, I gotta fuckin’ register as a fuckin’ terrorist.”
Dirt Devil: “Fuck! Why is that, dude?”
Charles Manson: “Man, I am in the fuckin’ Aryan Nations, & because of fuckin’ George W, Fuckin’ Bush, I am considered a fuckin’ terrorist & I gotta register like I am a fuckin’ Sex Offender. Fuck that shit. Fuck!”
Dirt Devil: “That’s fucked!”
Charles Manson: “This country is fucked up! Next stop that has a store with cheap beer, we are gonna fuckin’ get off & get us some fuckin’ beer. I got some tight fuckin' weed too.
Dirt Devil: “I ain’t no fuckin’ money, man.”
Charles Manson. (laughing) "Just cause we ain't got no fuckin’ money, don’t mean we can’t get no fuckin’ beer. Fuckin’ right?”
Dirt Devil: (laughing) Fuck!”

They start to disembark. I am relieved.
Charles Manson: (to me) “Fuck! You don’t believe me, do you? Just look up fuckin’ law #31311. That’s right. The government is watching fuckin’ everybody, even you, fucker...& they make you register. It is a fucked up fuckin’ country.”
Stephen: (with Paul Rudnick book & man purse): "Fuckin’ right. Fuck?"
They leave the train.