This past week, it came to light that a very important player in the life of the husband, & me, & our life as a couple, has been complaining to the husband about me. I am not even slightly upset with Mr. X, although why, after two years of spending time with us & knowing me pretty darn well, would Mr. X choose to complain to the husband about my penchant for booze, pot & procrastination is a tiny bit surprising.
The husband has long been my most loving, but toughest (& by that I mean-honest) critic of my behavior, clothing choices, drinking, drugging, garden design, acting, singing & writing. He is very nearly always correct. He is honest to a fault, as in answering- “YES” to the query- “Does this outfit make me look fat?” So… it was a bit of a surprise to discover that the husband was very unhappy about the complaints by Mr. X & that he stuck up for me, stuck by me & defended my honor.
I adore & cherish Mr. X. He is an amazing, very attractive, talented & accomplished man. I am pleased to have him in my life. I am better man for knowing him. I am not surprised that he finds pieces of my personality & lifestyle disagreeable… I am after all, very much in touch with my inner-grouch & inner-slut & I have a hedonistic bent. I own up to being opinionated & a tad bit louche. I really don’t mind that Mr. X lives a life just short of being a nun. In my defense, I am also a good & loyal friend, responsible, honest, good at my job & generous to a fault.
The husband has long been my most loving, but toughest (& by that I mean-honest) critic of my behavior, clothing choices, drinking, drugging, garden design, acting, singing & writing. He is very nearly always correct. He is honest to a fault, as in answering- “YES” to the query- “Does this outfit make me look fat?” So… it was a bit of a surprise to discover that the husband was very unhappy about the complaints by Mr. X & that he stuck up for me, stuck by me & defended my honor.
I adore & cherish Mr. X. He is an amazing, very attractive, talented & accomplished man. I am pleased to have him in my life. I am better man for knowing him. I am not surprised that he finds pieces of my personality & lifestyle disagreeable… I am after all, very much in touch with my inner-grouch & inner-slut & I have a hedonistic bent. I own up to being opinionated & a tad bit louche. I really don’t mind that Mr. X lives a life just short of being a nun. In my defense, I am also a good & loyal friend, responsible, honest, good at my job & generous to a fault.
The husband has always been quick with praise when I get it right. "You should always wear blue. It brings out your beautiful soulful eyes"- is lovely to hear. He was always lavish in his praise of performances that he found to be especially good. He will still tell friends & acquaintances how much he loved my work in his favorites- Horace Vandegelder in Hello, Dolly!, Hysterium in A Funny Thing Happened On the Way to the Forum or "LM" in Pump Boys & Dinettes... or even compliments that are qualified- "You were the only good thing in Side By Side By Sondheim." I am always thrilled & warmed by his-"The garden looks so beautiful". I actually glowed when our friend Bryan told me that one day at Rooster Rock, while sunbathing, the husband turned turned to him & announced- "Stephen doesn't even seem to realize it, but he has the most beautiful & original singing voice, especially when he was doing jazz with a jazz trio... even I was shocked by how good he can be."
I really wish, beyond all measure, that the husband & Mr. X would have no bad energy between them, especially because of me. I am deeply touched & somewhat taken aback by the husband’s defense of me. When I mentioned how I felt about this to the husband, as we went to bed last night, he tenderly said- “Yeah? Well complaining about you is MY JOB & not for ANYBODY else!”
I really wish, beyond all measure, that the husband & Mr. X would have no bad energy between them, especially because of me. I am deeply touched & somewhat taken aback by the husband’s defense of me. When I mentioned how I felt about this to the husband, as we went to bed last night, he tenderly said- “Yeah? Well complaining about you is MY JOB & not for ANYBODY else!”
The painting is by one of my favorite American painters- Marsden Hartley (1877-1943)
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