Paddling Without an Oar

For those who thought Queen Nancy's invocation of "NCIS" as the case-cracker in the Delling homicide investigation was bizarre, you ain't seen nothing yet.

In yesterday's Moscow-Pullman Daily News, columnist Vera White revealed:

A couple of weeks ago, a casual reference on the Z-FUN 106 morning show sent Moscow city officials into a tizzy. Show host Steve Shannon mentioned that the voice of Paddles the Moose sounded "a little gay." Mayor Nancy Chaney immediately sprung into action with a letter defending the sexuality of the moose chosen for an ad campaign for the Hamilton-Lowe Aquatics Center.

Copies of Chaney's letter circulated to the City Council and numerous staff members. Although the INKster failed to see the comparison, Chaney likened Steve's nebulous comment to the Don Imus "fiasco" of a few weeks ago when CBS fired the morning talk show host for racial slurs.

If anyone should be taken to task for Paddles, it's the Moscow Parks and Recreation Department, which, according to Chaney, "spent a good deal of money and effort to develop the ad campaign" geared to draw people to the city's pool facilities.

If that's the case, the INKster thinks they might have come up with something a tad better than Paddles, a thinly disguised take-off on Bullwinkle, the dim-witted cartoon character originating decades ago. She is not suggesting anything inappropriate here, but as the INKster recalls, Bullwinkle did tend to spend a lot of time on "fishing trips" with his "good friend" Rocky the Flying Squirrel. Even worse, he consorted with documented communists Boris and Natasha!

While she's on the subject, the INKster will share her thoughts on animal "gender orientation." She's always been far more suspicious of elk (the animal, not lodge members) as being a little light in the hoof.

Although the INKster isn't living in Moscow now, she's sure the hint that Paddles might sound gay wouldn't keep her from enjoying the pool. The only thing preventing that would be appearing publicly in a bathing suit. It appears, however, the city would be better served if it marshaled its forces to deal in a timely manner with things like zoning issues, transportation, and street maintenance.

She also would suggest that Mayor Chaney lighten up. Surely there are more important matters to deal with rather than wasting her time and that of the city staff to defend the possible sexual leanings of a talking moose.

The INKster would like to remind Chaney and crew that through the years, the station and its owners have been very generous in providing community services for worthy causes across the Palouse.

How can anyone possibly defend this woman? She's an embarrassment to Moscow and the Palouse.