Something For Everyone

While posting about Pasolini’s Teorema, I went on a mind riff about one of my favorite movies from my youth- Something For Everyone. In the 1970s, I saw this film maybe 15 times. I was 16 years old when I viewed this film for 1st time & the bisexuality had me dizzy with desire. When Cabaret followed 2 years later, I was in a Teutonic sexual frenzy & in a lifetime of lust for Mr. York. I rented it for the Husband in the early 1980s, but I have not viewed it since.

Released in 1970, Something For Everyone is the film directorial debut of legendary Broadway producer/director Harold Prince. It features Angela Lansbury in a remarkable virtuoso performance, with fine support from a delectable young Michael York, a very seductive young Anthony Corlan, & gifted Jane Carr ( fresh off The Prime Of Miss Jean Brody).


With a postcard perfect Bavarian backdrop, Konrad (York) rides into town with the sexiest legs ever seen in cycling shorts. He pauses to admire a fairytale castle (another shot of his calves). He quickly arranges a job as the footman to the owner of the castle- the impoverished Countess von Ornstein (Lansbury), "How odd” says Lansbury, “to have to concern oneself with the price of strawberries ". This is directed to her accountant. When he replies about how times have changed since the war, she counters with: " not for eagles, even in captivity they just sit there & glare " The countess declares that she is a descendant of Attila the Hun.

Konrad focuses his attentions on her beautiful, lonely son- Helmut (Corlan). His sister -Lotte (Carr) is dumpy, annoying, & furtive. She is onto Konrad from the start, & asks him if is a murderer or a pervert. His response is congenial & commendably candid.


Konrad seduces each member of the snobbish family, debauching 1st, the lonely daughter. His pursuit of passion, power, & position proceeds until he has removed or fucked them all. His baroque scheme suddenly begins to get dangerously out of control. The ending, with several clever twists & turns leave us sympathetic to the sociopath Konrad.


Michael York & Anthony Corlan are beautiful & talented, but this film belongs to Angela Lansbury. Every gesture brings consummate skill, drama, humor, & camp.
I can’t think of an actor who could have pulled this role off. York is one of the most engaging & absolute villains ever created outside of Tom Ripley, & for the same reasons: he is a logical genius, who anticipates every ruthlessly evil move he makes with flawless cunning. It's all part of his sexy boyish charm.

 This film is brilliant, nasty, dark & very, very funny. It is in my top 10 off all time.