"A Dress Makes No Sense Unless It Inspires Men To Take It Off of You." Francoise Sagan

Alright, we are both thought to be a little nutty, or possibly a lot nutty, but my charming, handsome & talented husband has a monkey on his back. It may even be stronger than my avidity for whiskey, pizza & muscle daddies. It seems that the Husband is powerless to the suggestion that he must have products advertised on television’s infommercials in order to have a productive & fulfilling life.


We are the proud owners of such devices & products as Sonic Grout Cleaner, Smart Wet/Dry Mop, Mighty-Putty, Dog Hair-No More, All-In- One Ratchet Set, Easy Screw Screwdriver Set, Point & Paint, Raccoon-Be-Gone Wolf Urine, Chamease, Colon Xtra Cleanse, The Ultimate Push-Up, PowerBall Core Trainer, & The Firm DVD Set (this device has nothing to do with Tom Cruise). If the cocaine hadn’t killed Billy Mays, I might have had to.

 I keep looking for a Scientologist-Be–Gone Spray. I wanted to market my own product-HARDAWAY, which comes in a pocket size spray container: “Embarrassed on the bus, trouble at work? Try new pocket ready Steve’s Hardaway, to instantly get rid of those pesky, unwanted erections! Never be afraid to stand up & move away from your work computer again!” But then I realized the image of David Gest or Bruce Jenner would have the same effect.

Before he left on Thursday morning on a 48 hour sojourn to Seattle for a design trade show, the Husband confessed that he was expecting his new Ab-Doer Twist (it is only 4 easy payments!), because- “it is only 4 weeks until the Red Dress Party. This is from a man who is 5’11’ & weighs 148 pounds & has a 29 inch waist.

The Husband

(click on image to enlarge)

My blogger pal Spirit Of St Louis, has a funny post about choosing his red dress (something about chaffed nipples) for this important & gala Portland event. This year is the 10th annual Red Dress which has raised more than $152,000 for local organizations that support important issues in the gay community. Everyone must be wearing a red dress to gain admittance . I love when men are wearing red dresses with no attempt at drag. You gotta love a hunky, hairy man in a red frock.

Your host, looking dishearteningly like Brenda Vacarro

The Husband has pointed out that the color red is not seen that much in daily life: a sports car, a splash of lipstick, a throw pillow, a rose, & to come upon a sea of 3000+ people all in red is a startling & visually exciting experience. This will be our 3rd Red Dress. In the past, we have spent months shopping for the right dress, & we have rented a limo to take us & friends to the venue. Under the new austerity program, this year we are re-purposing past outfits & taking a cab. I may even forgo the tradition of taking Extacy, but I love to spend 5 hours dancing my ass off. Included in this post is your very own Post Apocalyptic Bohemian & the husband & friends at a past pre-party at our humble abode.

Best Man at our wedding & hunky yoga instructor-Eiric

My trouble making friend & perpetual bad boy- Kevin
Note Larry the canine on the floor with devil eyes