I am old enough that when I first grappled with coming out, I had an inner dialogue that went something like- “at least you are relieved from the obligation of having to get married, sire children, or serve in the military'. This was important in 1968, at the apex of the war in Viet Nam. I had no intention of serving in combat in Southeast Asia. I was working the angle of possibly joining the Coast Guard with the idea of serving in the chorus or orchestra. It then occurred to me to just come out as a homo & get rid of 2 big problems in one giant, brave action. As it happened, I was very lucky to have my draft number be 311. Now in the 21st century, gay people fight for their right to serve in the military, get married & have families.
Most of us have some degree of control over how & when we come out as gay, not Grethe Cammermeyer. In 1987, Norwegian-born Grethe Cammermeyer: Vietnam veteran, divorced mother of 4, a colonel & the head nurse in the Washington National Guard, fell in love with Diane Divelbess, a Mormon-born artist. In 1989, Cammermeyer had applied to the War College & was in the middle of an interview for top-secret clearance when she had to decide between making the truthful statement that she was a lesbian or denying that truth & advancing toward her dream of promotion to general. Her integrity won her a court martial & eventual separation from the military she had dedicated her life to (her many honors included the Bronze Star for Meritorious Service in Vietnam).
The resulting investigation went slowly, even as the debate over gays in the military heated up. Cammermeyer, discharged in 1992, sued & won. In a bombshell decision, a federal judge in Seattle declared her discharge & the ban on gays unconstitutional. The Supreme Court ultimately upheld the ban, but Cammermeyer served out her military career. She retired to the home she & Divelbess built on Whidbey Island in 1997 & found a new career in activism &. politics. She wrote her autobiography- Serving in Silence, which was the basis for the Barbra Streisand produced film of the same name, starring Glenn Close & Judy Davis. The film won 3 Emmys.
Grethe turns 68 today & she continues to speak out on DADT, as the issue has never been more in the forefront of the news media.
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