Butch (1993-2007) He was loved.
1. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?
Pat Robertson, He is absolute evil incarnate.
2. You can flip a switch that will wipe any band or musical artist out of existence. Which one will it be?
Oh, that seems so mean; I don’t think I could do that…oh wait: Whitney Huston.
3. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?
The guy on the MAX that called me a fag
4. What is your favorite cheese?
Fresh Buffalo Mozzarella
5. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your immediate disposal. What kind will you make?
Roasted vegetables: peppers, eggplant, pepperoncini, zucchini, tomato, arugula, with goat cheese on toasted Ciabata.
6. You have the opportunity to sleep with the movie celebrity of your choice. We are talking no-strings-attached sex and it can only happen once. Who is the lucky celebrity of your choice?
Alec Baldwin, & there would be no sleeping
7. You have the opportunity to sleep with the music celebrity of your choice. Who do you pick?
Sting… 20 hours of tantric experiences
8. Now that you’ve slept with two different people in a row, you seem to be having an excellent day because you just came across a hundred-dollar bill on the sidewalk. Holy shit, a hundred bucks! How are you gonna spend it?
I would hand it over to the Husband & say’ “have some fun on me”
9. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?
Sydney, where it is high summer
10. Upon arrival to the aforementioned location, you get off the plane and discover another hundred-dollar bill. Shit! Now that you are in the new location, what are you gonna do?
I would treat some Aussie Beach bum to cocktails.
11. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. It is…?
Veuve Clicquot
12. Rufus appears out of nowhere with a time-traveling phone booth. You can go anytime in the PAST. What time are you traveling to and what are you going to do when you get there?
1980s Seattle… re-live the best years of my life... without the mistakes
13. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?
I am the emperor, I what I say-goes
14. You have been given the opportunity to create the half-hour TV show of your own design. What is it called and what’s the premise?
“Steve!” A sitcom about me, starring me as me, with Mickey Rooney & Betty White as my parents & George Clooney as the Husband, Kathy Griffin as the zany neighbor & Anderson Cooper & Matthew Morrison as the promiscuous best friends.
15. What is your favorite curse word?
Cocksuckingmotherfucker
16. One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?
Start singing Walk Like An Egyptian
17. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the item?
My framed letter from Louis XVI to his sister. A gift from Fay Wray.
18. The Angel of Death has descended upon you. Fortunately, the Angel of Death is pretty cool and in a good mood, and it offers you a half-hour to do whatever you want before you bite it. Whatcha gonna do in that half-hour?
Smoke a joint & watch a DVR-ed Chelsea Lately from the night before
19. You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What’s it gonna be?
Stop time, at will.
20. You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?
my best scene, in my most popular show, at Pioneer Square Theatre, July 1984
21. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?
August 17th 2007, the moment my dog Butch died. I have never recovered.
22. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world! Bitchin’! What country are you going to live in now?
Canada, Vancouver BC
23. This question still counts, even for those of you who are under age. Check it out. You have been eternally banned from every single bar in the world except for ONE. Which one is it gonna be?
Splash
24. Hopefully you didn’t mention this in the super-powers question…. If you did, then we’ll just expand on that. Check it out… Suddenly, you have gained the ability to FLOAT!!! Whose house are you going to float to first, and be like “Dude, check it out… I can FLOAT!”?
I already have the ability to float. There would not be anyone to impress.
25. The constant absorption of magical moonbeams mixed with the radioactive vegetables you consumed earlier has given you the ability to resurrect the dead famous-person of your choice. So which celebrity will you bring back to life?
Jesus Christ, & ask- “wow, what is it like to be resurrected 2 times?!?, & by me no less?... no, never mind, I choose Bea Arthur… or Noel Coward.
26. The Celestial Gates of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person, etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?
Butch. Oh never mind, I couldn't go through it twice.
27. What’s your theme song?
Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word
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