Kids... Don't Try This At Home!

This is a bit of a tawdry tale. Please, don’t be too shocked or too displeased.

I attended college in Boston the year after graduating from high school. I chose Boston because it was so far away from Spokane, where I grew up. I loved Boston that year. If you are from the West Coast, Boston seemed like being in Europe. There were buildings from the 17th century. People had funny accents. I had never heard of hoagies or frappes or rotaries, & “regular” coffee meant cream & sugar. Boston in the early 1970s was an excellent place to be a young person; the city seemed to be filled with students from all the different colleges.


On a very frozen, but clear New England day, my friend Lynn & I dropped some acid (so nonchalant) & set out for an adventure. We decided on the Sheraton Back Bay which connects to the Prudential Tower with, what at the time was the best view of Boston.


Our elevator stopped on the 4th floor & a nicely dressed woman entered. When the lift started to move, our elevator guest turned to us & questioned- “Can I use the bathroom in your room”. We explained that we were not guests in the hotel. She then stated- “I know it sounds odd, but I really need to go & I am not scary or a weirdo. I just really need to go & I can’t use public facilities.” Lynn & I again explained that we were not hotel guests & were merely going to the observation deck for the view. The woman, with more urgency & an edge of panic- “I know you are staying here & I need to use the bathroom in your room. You need to let me use it!” We equaled her intensity & dropped our edge of politeness as we were adamant that we had no hotel room.


The woman stared us down, hiked up her skirt, squatted & peed on the elevator floor. I kept thinking… why is this happening while I am tripping? We didn’t stick around for the viewpoint.

On the way home, I remembered that I had a walnut study due for drawing class the next day with my favorite teacher- Tomie DePaola, & I had neglected to buy some walnuts to use as models (could I fake a walnut drawing?). As I voiced my concern to Lynn, she exclaimed- “Oh my God, what a stroke of luck. Right there, on the sidewalk…look, it’s a walnut! What are the chances?” I could not believe my good luck, & I picked up the walnut & stuck it in my pocket. A few block later, I pulled the walnut out to marvel at the luck of finding a walnut on the sidewalk, just as I needed one for drawing class. The walnut felt different in my hand. It was melting. It was not a walnut after all, but a frozen turd & it was changing form as I held it in my warm hand. This discovery sent my friend into a fit of laughter so intense that she peed her pants, which then froze before we made it back to her room.


My question to the universe that afternoon: why do these things happen when I am tripping on acid? & all this was happening while my future Husband was in the US Army protecting us from the godless communists.

This is what I was listening to in Boston, Winter 1972/73:




David Bowie
The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders From Mars


Nick Drake .
Pink Moon


The Rolling Stones
Exile on Main St.
Curtis Mayfield
Superfly


Donny Hathaway
Live


Lou Reed
Transformer


Stevie Wonder
Talking Book


T. Rex
The Slider


Al Green
I'm Still in Love With You


Roxy Music
Roxy Music